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To Avoid Killing Abeer Rahhal Twice: Crafting the Right Narrative for Her Children

Zeina Allouch
International Child Protection Expert
Lebanon
Published on 02.01.2025
Reading time: 5 minutes

The reality is that a married woman decided to separate from her husband through legal means. However, the murderer chose to retaliate. For him, the murder wasn’t enough; he also indulged in telling a repulsive story laced with greetings and an air of triumph, as though he had achieved some sort of victory.


The murder of Abeer Rahhal marks yet another tragic chapter in the lives of women who choose to change their realities by resorting to the courts to separate from their husbands. The perpetrator refused to accept this decision, meticulously planning a cold-blooded murder. He then spun a long-winded story to justify his actions, citing classic excuses like repeated infidelity.

In his obnoxious monologue, broadcast on social media, the killer objected to Abeer’s claims of abuse, stating he had only “hit her twice—just two slaps…” as if a woman needs to be dragged, beaten, and have her ribs broken before she is justified in seeking divorce due to violence.

The reality is that a married woman decided to separate from her husband through legal means. However, the murderer chose to retaliate. For him, the murder wasn’t enough; he also indulged in telling a repulsive story laced with greetings and an air of triumph, as though he had achieved some sort of victory.

This long narrative served only to kill Abeer symbolically in his mind, justifying his premeditated crime to himself. Not content with internalizing these justifications, he took them public, seeking support for his cold-blooded killing of the mother of his children, followed by his own suicide.

He gave no thought to his children’s future, except as part of an additional act of vengeance when he incited his family to seek custody, claiming that the mother’s “disgrace” would taint the children. What disgrace is this criminal talking about?

We are not here to engage in psychological analysis or the reasons that led this criminal to commit murder. That is a task for specialists. However, it’s important to note that psychological analysis often risks veering into justifications, especially when framed within a purely patriarchal narrative that aligns with the killer’s reasoning. What we are facing here is a murder committed by a man who was not deterred by being the father of three children. He gave no thought to the impact of his actions on them. Perhaps he even imagined that orphaning them and tarnishing their mother’s image was an acceptable form of revenge—or perhaps he sought to see Abeer’s final moments through her children’s eyes.

The Impact on Children

Children who lose their mother to femicide face profound psychological, emotional, and social challenges. This struggle is compounded by the shock and violence of the loss, particularly when their father is the perpetrator. Even though many children may have witnessed ongoing abuse before the crime, the trauma of the loss itself is unimaginable—especially when it’s paired with public humiliation of the mother, as though one crime wasn’t enough.

Caregivers often resort to silence, thinking they are protecting the children by avoiding the topic of the crime. However, this silence frequently worsens the issue, opening the door to speculation and distorted narratives, especially with the role of social media in spreading misinformation. The killer’s broadcasted confession further fueled this distortion, garnering support in online spaces.

The Importance of Narrative in Coping with Trauma

The stories told to children about the loss of their mother significantly affect their ability to cope with trauma. Studies emphasize the need for caregivers and specialists to construct truthful, age-appropriate narratives. While avoiding gruesome details, these narratives must be clear, unequivocal in condemning the crime, and allow children to create distance between themselves and the father who committed it. This separation does not negate the father’s role but gives the children the option to disassociate from the violence.

The narrative must also address the father’s actions objectively and honestly, avoiding downplaying the crime’s severity. It should place the act within the context of a patriarchal cultural system that justifies such behavior and perpetuates male dominance over justice and law.

The goal of the narrative is to help children understand the event while preserving the victim’s dignity and highlighting the cultural and social legacies that have long excused a masculinity that perceives itself above the law.

The Culture of Silence

On November 25, 2024, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, UN Women and the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) released a report stating that 85,000 women and girls were intentionally killed in 2023. The data shows that 140 women and girls lose their lives daily at the hands of a partner or close family member—equivalent to one woman or girl killed every 10 minutes.

Statistics reveal that only 40 percent of women experiencing violence report it, and their complaints are often ignored or treated superficially. Talking about violence is considered “shameful” or a “scandal” for which women are blamed. Silence here is not a choice but a restriction imposed on women out of fear of disgrace. Every moment of silence provides another opportunity for the perpetrator to continue and for society to fail in protecting those in need.

In this context, Giselle Belico, who chose a public trial for her husband and his accomplices in her rape, stated that she decided to correct the shame equation, asserting that shame resides in her husband’s crime and the actions of his 50 accomplices. Belico emphasized that her husband and his accomplices represent the ordinary men around us—those who fabricate narratives and find believers.

Only public condemnation can deter the “ordinary man” described by Giselle Belico. Are we ready to expose him, or are we still in the stage of implicit complicity?

Our silence is a pause that kills the “Abeer” in all of us, moment by moment.